


I Forgot You Could Do Magic Too

by violettavioletta



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Muggle Lily Evans Potter, canon character death, lily plays piano, musician lily potter, pettigrew still sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29489559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violettavioletta/pseuds/violettavioletta
Summary: The Evans sisters were perfectly normal, thank you very much. OR: Lily isn't a witch (but she is one hell of a musician). AU.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	I Forgot You Could Do Magic Too

**I Forgot You Could Do Magic Too**

**January-Febuary 2021**

* * *

Long ago, Lily Evans had known she was destined for great things. She'd excelled in school, excelled in everything she tried, really, and had managed to secure a handful of very generous offers at some of the most prestigious universities in England- no small feat for anyone, but especially impressive for a young girl from the seedy part of Cokeworth (which was, admittedly, most of Cokeworth). She had been ready, at age sixteen, to go out into the world and make her mark on things. But then the accident had happened.

It had all happened so quickly that one only had to blink to miss it. Suddenly, Lily's parents were dead, killed in a car crash, and Lily and her older sister Petunia were left with a mountain of dept. Even with the scholarships she'd managed to secure, Lily knew that she couldn't leave, not now. And so she refused all of her university offers, telling anyone who asked that it was only temporary, that she'd just find a job for a few months or so, just enough to get back on her feet, and then she'd reapply to university, and have the life she'd always dreamed of. But a few months had turned into a year, and then to two, and there was still no end in sight. Little by little, Lily's dreams of greatness slipped away, until all that was left was an exhausted eighteen year old girl working at a liquor store by day and playing keyboard in a local band by night. Not exactly the glamorous, exciting life Lily had dreamed of, long ago.

She raps her fingers on the counter in front of her, staring at the clock on the wall. The shop would close in a little under an hour, and then she'd be playing at the pub with her band until around 3am, only to sneak in a few hours of sleep before she had to open the shop again at 11am. She sighs. She loves playing at the pub, of course, but it has been rather a while since she had had a proper night's sleep. In fact, she almost thinks she could drift off right now…

 _Ring!_ The bells on the door announcing the arrival of a customer startle her awake. She tugs at her long red braid, trying not to make it obvious to the customer that she'd been asleep. Apparently, she hasn't done a very good job.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" asks a cheery voice with a posh accent. Lily examines the man it belongs to. He's young, probably around her own age. His clothes are strange- he wears a clean white shirt and black pants, but the cuts are odd, as if it was thirty years ago. And while she shouldn't be thinking about such things at work, of course, she can't help noticing that, tall, fit and hazel-eyed as he is, he is… rather attractive. But he walks like he knows it, and that ruins it, as far as Lily is concerned.

"Of course not", she says, perhaps a bit roughly, "Just startled me, is all. Try not to be so loud, next time."

He picks up a bottle of wine that she can't help noticing is far from cheap. That is a bit surprising, they don't sell much expensive wine, not at a rundown liquor shop in Cokeworth. She supposes the man _does_ have a posh accent.

"Is everyone in Cokeworth as rude as you?" he asks as he sets the bottle down on the counter, though his tone remains cheerful as he says it.

"Yes", she says simply. She gestures to the bottle. "Will that be all?"

"Yep." The man grins. "Unless you want to tell me what time you get off?"

Lily rolls her eyes. This isn't a first, of course. She knows she is attractive, and it seems that every night men come into the store and convince themselves that she thinks them as attractive as they think her. "I don't think so. You have a nice night, now."

The man's face falls. Clearly, he had been expecting a different answer. He perks up again in an instant, though, setting his face back into a grin. "Oh, come on now, Ginger…"

"Don't call me Ginger", she says flatly, "And the answer is no. I'm busy after work, anyway. Run along now."

The man puts a hand over his chest as if he had been wounded, and Lily rolls her eyes. Alright, perhaps he is a bit amusing. But she hadn't been lying, she really was busy. She gestures to the door, and he walks out, giving her one last look behind him as he does.

 _Maybe he'll come in again, sometime_ , Lily finds herself idly thinking.

* * *

At first, Lily convinces herself she is imagining things. After all, she has been drinking a bit. She knows her keyboard well enough to play absolutely wasted, though she's only a little more than tipsy, tonight. But after the third time she sees it, she can deny it no longer. She likes to look out into the audience while playing, as she's got a lot of friends who frequent this pub and the other pubs she plays at. One of her friends, Elizabeth, is in the audience tonight. But, on the other side of the room, so is the man from earlier at the liquor store, cheering loudly and somewhat drunkenly along with the rest of the noisy pub. She rolls her eyes, in between songs. Tosser.

She blocks him out of her mind. Playing the piano has always helped her to do that, to set things aside and think of nothing but the feel of the keys under her fingers, of the pedals under her feet. She hadn't been taught how to play piano, not really. Music education in Cokeworth schools was abysmal, and there hadn't been money for private lessons. They'd had an old piano and a few books of sheet music, though, and Lily had always been a rather bright girl. By the time she was ten or eleven, she was playing at a level most pianists three times her age aspired to. She'd joined her first band at age 12, and hadn't looked past since. It was what she'd been hoping to study at uni, the ins and outs of music. She'd had dreams, once. She'd be the best pianist in England, in the world, and then she'd be a professor, a teacher, reaching people everywhere, changing lives with her music. It was looking like that would never happen, now. But she could still pour everything she had into playing her keyboard at the pub, and so that's what she did, tossing her head back with the music, letting the tears flow down her face as she listened to the way everyone's instruments came together, the way Norah, the singer, tied it all up. Beautiful, really. Absolutely beautiful.

She was sweating by the last song of the evening, as she usually was. She glanced out in the audience and gave Elizabeth a grin, which Elizabeth sloppily attempted to return. She was absolutely gone, that was for sure. She'd probably need Lily to take her home. That was fine, it wasn't exactly uncommon for one of her friends or another to lose themselves in a pub. Lily threw her long red braid over her shoulder and pounded out the last few chords of the song, cheering along with everyone else as Norah hit the final high note. And then she was off the stage, making a beeline for Elizabeth before the girl did something stupid. Suddenly, though, someone was standing in front of her, blocking her way. The man from the liquor store.

She was about to shove him, tell him that she was _busy_ , when he opened his mouth.

"That was… Merlin… God… God, that was amazing!" he says, and he is so earnest that she truly believes that that is the true reason he has come over here, to tell her how much he enjoyed the music. So earnest that she overlooks the strange exclamation he'd made at the beginning of his sentence. "I… why are you working in a liquor store, with talent like that? Bloody hell…"

She smiles, almost without realizing. "What's your name?"

"James. James Potter. Yours?" he asks breathlessly, as if he had just realized he didn't know. She tells him, and he puts a hand on her shoulder. "Look, Lily, I… I know this place is closing, and I know you're probably busy, but there's gotta be somewhere else, and I… I'd just really like to buy you a drink, is all."

Lily laughs. He is slurring his words, but his eyes are looking right into hers. He is serious, she can tell. "I can't tonight", she says, regret creeping into her voice. She points to Elizabeth, who is slumped against a wall, yelling at people as they leave. "But… here, I… have you got a pen?"

He shakes his head, but makes a writing gesture to the bartender, who throws him a pen. Lily has to admit that she is rather impressed he managed to catch it, in his state. He hands it to her, and she scribbles her number onto his hand. "Ring me any time before ten thirty. Here, I'll write that on your hand, too, I doubt you'll remember tomorrow if I tell you", she says. "I've got to go."

She leaves without another word, tossing the pen back to the bartender on her way out, making her way towards Elizabeth.

"I _will_ ring you, Lily!" she hears him calling form behind her, "I will! I'll figure it out, I promise! I'll find a way to ring you!"

She smiles as she hoists Elizabeth under her arm, supporting most of her weight as they begin to make their way home. They sure do get strange when they're drunk, men.

* * *

He rings her the very next morning, just past nine. Lily is thankful for this, it means Petunia is out of the house, at her secretary job. It's not that she wants to hide James from her sister, it's just that… well, Petunia is so proper, so rigid all of the time. She wants to get out of Cokeworth too, but not like Lily does. No, Petunia wants to find a nice, well-off bloke from somewhere far away to settle down with, and she's well on her way to doing so. She would not like that Lily was seeing a man with tousled hair that she'd met first in the liquor store she works at, then late at night in a pub.

James speaks very loudly and very slowly on the phone, as if he is speaking to a very small child from far away. Lily wonders is perhaps there are other people in the room with him making noise, if he lives with flatmates. Maybe he is at uni, and has other people in his dormitory. She'll have to ask him, when they go out. Her only free night is Sunday, as the store is not open on Sunday, and her band doesn't play gigs on Sunday. She gives him her address, and he promises to pick her up at seven.

When Sunday rolls around, Lily is stressed. She told Petunia she had a date, but not who it was with, and Petunia will be out with her boyfriend for a proper Sunday roast when James come to pick her up. Lily doesn't like Petunia's boyfriend, Vernon. He is, in her opinion, much too large and old and beady-eyed for her pretty sister. But Petunia loves him, or loves the life he can provide, or some mixture of both. Petunia leaves the house at half past five, stumbling a bit in her overly tall heels, and Lily is left alone. What should she wear? James has not told her where he will be taking her. She settles on a bright blue dress of hers that she thinks looks well with her hair. Petunia has never liked it, she has always said it was too bright, but then again, Petunia has never liked any of Lily's clothes. She curls her hair into large, loose barrel waves, and sits in her house's small front hall to wait for James. By the time 7 pm rolls around, she is fidgeting with her hands, moving them about, a nervous habit of hers. It is as if her hands aren't quite sure what to do, without a piano in front of them. But James does not come to the door. Five minutes past seven, and he is still not there. Ten minutes past, and Lily is convinced she has been stood up. She is about to stomp upstairs and wipe her makeup off with a heavy hand and throw her dress to the floor with a scowl when she hears the motorcycle.

Oh, it is a _very_ good thing that Petunia is not here.

She runs out onto the shabby front porch and laughs in delight when she sees the huge black motorcycle pulling into her driveway. The rider stops the motorcycle and stands it up on the kickstand, removing his helmet to reveal a very flush faced James Potter. Lily runs off the porch, still laughing.

"I won't lie", she says as she approaches, "I was pretty upset at you for being late." He opens his mouth to respond, but she cuts him off. "Upon seeing the motorcycle, however, I have decided to forgive you."

James grins like an idiot. "Glad to hear it." He stares at her another moment, before he seems to remember very suddenly that he is not here just to look at her. "So, Evans, shall we go then?"

She laughs a bit. "Are we on a last name basis, then?"

"Sure are. Now then, hop on. And hold on tight."

He is a terrible driver, she realizes this very quickly. She considers that maybe he is doing it on purpose, so she will hold on to him tighter, but no, no one could possibly be that bad on purpose.

"Sorry", he says sheepishly after they have arrived at a nice little restaurant she has never been to, "The bike is my mate's, not mine. Guess I ought to ride it more."

"I assure you that you do not need to do that", she says, and he laughs. And then he holds out his hand, gesturing for her to take it.

"Ta", she says as she places her hand in his, laughing. They go inside, where James has made a reservation.

He is funny, as she had initially expected. He makes her laugh so hard she can't breathe with stories of things he and his friends had done while at school. He also seems to know a lot about wine, suggesting various wines Lily has never heard of to go with her meal. Upon his assurance that he is paying, she tells him to go ahead and pick one for her, and is shocked at how much she likes it. He asks her about herself, about her playing, and seems genuinely interested in her stories of sneaking down to the piano whenever she could, figuring out which notes on the sheet music meant what by picking familiar songs and working by ear. Really, it _would_ be a perfect night... if Lily didn't have the smallest inclination that James was hiding something from her.

It is not obvious. She has no real evidence. But she can't shake the feeling. She had been able to shake off his odd behavior, that first night at the pub. He was drunk, people do strange things when they're drunk. But tonight, when he tells tales of his mates, he is... slow. As if he's censoring his stories before he tells them. When he tells stories about his days as a star football player, he doesn't go into depth, almost as if he doesn't really remember them. And occasionally his sentences die right in the middle, as if he is just barely managing to stop himself from saying something. It could be nothing. He could just be nervous. Or... James Potter could have a secret.

The thought, she realizes, intrigues her, somehow. And so, when he drops her off, pulls her close, and asks if he can ring her again, she smiles.

"I'd like that."

* * *

He doesn't ring her again, though. The first day, Lily is able to excuse it, of course he wouldn't ring her the morning after their date, he doesn't want to seem desperate. But after five days, Lily has to accept it- he doesn't want to see her again. Another Sunday comes and goes, and Lily finds herself sitting in the parlor, brooding and drinking cheap vodka mixed with cheap soda. They don't have a television, but if they did she imagines she would be yelling at it.

Petunia walks in just as the sun begins to set, and sighs. "Oh, Lily", she says gently, sitting next to her sister, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing", Lily spits, but she is crying when she says it, just a little, so she doesn't imagine it has the desired effect. Petunia pulls her into a hug, something she hasn't done since their parents died, and Lily hugs her back. They are different people, her and her sister, but they are still sisters.

"I went out with a boy last Sunday", she mumbles into her sister's shoulder, "I had a lovely time. He said he'd call me. But he hasn't."

"Oh, Lily", Petunia replies, "Is that all?" She pulls back, holds her sister at arm's length. "If he hasn't called you back, dear, you're too good for him, anyway. Don't pay him any more mind. Really, Lily, you're better off without him."

Lily is not comforted, not really. But she nods, and puts the vodka away. That's something.

* * *

James calls her again the next day, eight days after their first date. She is so shocked and pleased that she forgets to yell at him, or demand an explanation. He does not offer one, only says he's sorry it's taken him so long to ring her again. She breathlessly says that that's alright. Before she knows it, she is planning to spend next Sunday with him, too. She can't stop smiling all day at the liquor store, and her playing at that night's gig is positively ethereal.

She leaves the house bright and early at 8 am on Sunday. She sneaks past Petunia, telling her she's going out for the day, and hops in their shared car. She does feel a bit bad about taking the car without telling Petunia, but hopefully Petunia won't need it. Besides, she's got plans.

James had told her, on their last date, that he had just moved to Cokeworth, and wasn't familiar with the area. Well, there might not be much to do in Cokeworth, but they did have a little bit of a shopping district, and it was always bustling on Sundays. There's an art gallery that she loves, and she brings him straight to her favorite painting. He smiles when he sees it, a ridiculously stupid grin that has her grinning too.

"A _doe_?" he asks, laughing happily, "Your favorite painting is of a _doe_?"

She laughs along with him. "What? You don't like does?"

"I prefer stags, myself" he says with a cocky grin, "But does are alright too, I guess."

They go around the rest of the art gallery, and Lily is pleased to see that James seems to like the same paintings she does, and to really have something to say about each painting. She's taken boys here before, but none of them have ever really looked at the paintings, not like she does, not like James does. It's as if he's never seen anything like them before.

After the art gallery, James buys them pretzels and sodas from a cart, and they walk down Main Street, chatting. When he asks her if she has any future plans, she looks away, mumbles something about the liquor store being enough for her. He does not push it, though his eyes are sad, as if he has seen right through her. As they near the city center, however, she hears a few notes on a saxophone, and she forgets all about her dismal future.

"Dance with me", she whispers, taking James by the hand. And he does.

He is a wonderful dancer, she quickly realizes. A bit formal, perhaps, as if someone has trained him in ballroom dancing, but he loosens up quickly, spinning her around and around and around, even trying some dips and lifts. They are, she realizes, being watched by onlookers, a few people are even cheering them on. They keep going until she's too dizzy to keep going, and too giddy to see straight, anyway. This. This is happiness. Apparently James thinks so too, because he holds her tight against him all the way back to the car, grinning like a prat, as always. They pass a man selling flowers, and James hands Lily a big red rose. She laughs, tells him he's gotten her the wrong flower, but she appreciates it nonetheless.

They get in the car, and Lily knows she should take them home. It's getting late, and she has to work tomorrow. But she doesn't want to. She has just had what she imagines is the most marvelous time she's had in her whole life, and she doesn't want it to end. So she turns to James and, in a spur of the moment decision, asks if he wants to go swimming. He does. And so she drives them out to the lake near Cokeworth, the one everyone in town flocks to on hot days, as they haven't got a swimming pool. The parking lot, as she expected, is empty on a Sunday evening in autumn.

"Nice lake", he says.

"Yeah", she agrees, suddenly embarrassed. What is he used to? Are there big lakes, wherever he's from, lakes with water that isn't brown and shores that aren't all rock? She doesn't have time to dwell on it, however, because suddenly she feels him tugging at one of her curls.

He's never seen her with her hair like this, in its natural state, because she rarely wears it like that. It is much easier to manage in a braid or after she has straightened it and then curled it again more to her liking. She bats at his hand.

"What?" he asks innocently, "I've never seen it like this. I like it, is all. You should wear it like this more often."

He goes for another curl, and she's laughing as she wrestles with him, trying to push him off. But he's bigger than her, and before she knows it, she isn't entirely sure how it happened, but she's flat on the backseat, and he's sitting on top of her.

She isn't laughing anymore.

"Lily?" he says, and something about the way he says her name sends a shiver down her spine, "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

"Is that so?" she asks, her voice light, though her heart is beating so fast she is sure he can hear it. He nods.

"I just… I've never… never… never felt this way, I guess. About… about anyone. I don't… I just…"

Lily nods. "I agree."

"I'd like to kiss you", he whispers, his face an inch above hers.

"Ta", she whispers back, and then his mouth is on hers, his hands are in her hair, under her clothes, and he's kissing her, he's really _kissing_ her. She's kissed a few boys before, at school, or drunkenly at pubs. But never like this. Never like this.

She sneaks past Petunia when she gets home, not wanting her to see the state of her hair and clothes and guess what she's been doing. Plus, she doesn't want a lecture about taking the car.

* * *

The next morning, she reads in the newspaper that twenty-three people have died in a tragic building collapse in London. Absently, she wonders if perhaps James has been affected.

* * *

There is something strange about James Potter.

Lying down after her gig, the night after their time at the lake, she is able to admit this to herself with absolute certainty. There are many small things that she is sure make up one larger thing. She does not have his telephone number. She does not know what he does for a living (though, she concedes, she doesn't think she asked). He dresses like it is thirty years ago, and has table manners like he was raised by the Queen. One of these things, perhaps, could be excused. But all of them together are surely indicative of something big, something explosive. For a moment, Lily ponders, staring as well as she can in the dark at the slowly wilting rose from James that she had placed on her bedside table.

Lily rolls over on her bed. She's tired. She has to work tomorrow. She'll think about this later.

* * *

A few days later, her bandmate Norah buys her a drink after their gig, and asks her what she's so happy about.

"Now, don't be thinking that I think this is a bad thing, Lily!" the woman says, "It's just that I never imagined you could get any better at that keyboard than you already are. But now you're playing… playing like someone's lit something up inside of you, is all."

Lily grins, the alcohol in her making the conversation much easier. "I… I don't know. I guess all I can say is, let me know if we need a new love song. Because I think I'm writing one, right now."

* * *

Perhaps she spoke too soon, talking to Norah, because James doesn't ring her again. Eight days come and go, and still, nothing. This time, she does not sit in the parlor and drink vodka. This time, she gets _mad_.

 _How dare he use me_ , she thinks, stomping her way to work on the eleventh day with no call from him, _How dare he!_ She thinks of his hands under her shirt in the backseat of her car, of his mouth on hers, on her neck, on her collarbone. It hadn't gone further than kissing that night, but it could have, and she is positively livid.

That night, at the pub, she pounds the keys with so much vigor that any slow songs are effectively made fast. And when she gets home, she marches straight up to her room and throws the now-dead rose straight out the window.

* * *

Twelve days after he should've called her, she is at the liquor store, restocking shelves, when she sees him. Luckily, she is not usually working alone during the daytime hours, so she is able to hiss to the other cashier that she is going on break, and she supposes there is something dangerous in her face, because the woman does not question her.

"Outside", she hisses to James, and he follows her to the door in the back, the one that leads to the brick alley behind the store.

"You absolute fucking wanker", she says as soon as she has closed the door. He tries to speak, but she is not going to let him talk himself out of this one. "No, I don't give a fuck what you've got to say! Twelve days, no call, no note, no sign of you, and suddenly you think you can come back in here like nothing happened? You think you can just walk back in here and I'll fall into your arms and if you're lucky you'll get in my pants this time?"

"Lily, that's not-" he starts, but she cuts him off.

"Don't you 'Lily' me, James Potter!" she yells. In her fury, she pushes him, pinning him against the wall, and she is planning to keep yelling at him, but then he _winces_ , like something really hurts.

He is injured.

"I… James, are you alright?" she asks, and to her slight annoyance, she realizes that her anger is evaporating.

"I, yeah, I… just… broke some ribs", he says lamely, "I was in… In the hospital, that's why I didn't call you."

Suddenly, Lily feels like a real bitch. "Oh. I… I'm really sorry, then. So Sorry."

She doesn't have anything else to say, really.

"I… Don't worry about it. Say, do you ever have any days besides Sundays off?"

"Not from the liquor store", she says, "But my band isn't playing this Friday. Say, my friend Elizabeth is a student at the local uni, if you wanted to go a party there. Only if you want to, though." Lily looks away. She hopes he doesn't think she's stupid for inviting him to a college party.

He only smiles, though. "Can I bring my mates?"

* * *

James waits for her to finish work, sitting in that alley. Lily tells him he doesn't have to, that she has a few hours left to go anyway, and that it's dangerous in that alley, but James won't hear a word of it. He insists on waiting for her and walking with her to her gig, and listening to her play. He hasn't heard her play since that first night, he explains, and he can't stop thinking about it. And so, after she closes the shop, he takes her hand, and they start walking to a nearby pub.

From across the street, Lily's neighbor, the strange one with the greasy hair, stares at them.

"Wonder what he's upset about", Lily says idly, and James turns to see who she is referring to. Suddenly, he stops in his tracks.

" _Snape_ ", he whispers. The man stares at him a moment before turning on his heels and walking quickly away from them. Lily turns to James, awestruck.

" _You_ know Severus Snape?" she asks, incredulously. James curls his lip.

"I do. We went to school together. Git."

Lily agrees. "He's my neighbor. We were friends, a long time ago, as children, but he stopped talking to me years ago. Keeps to himself, Snape, and good thing, he's a right bastard. But I… wait, you said you went to school with him? That can't be right, he went to some school in Germany, for science prodigies…"

James goes a bit pale. "Oh. Um, I went there too, for one term. The, um, Isaac Newton Academy. Just, you know, to pick up some things."

Lily is a bit skeptical. "You're a science prodigy?"

"For… for one term, yes." And then James takes her hand again, starts pulling her towards the pub, and Lily lets him, though she knows he is lying. She is sure of it. Isaac Newton wasn't even German.

There is something very weird about James Potter, alright.

* * *

They agree to meet at the party, that Friday. Lily doesn't mention it to Petunia, decides to just let her assume that she'll be out playing a gig. She is sitting at the bar in the house's kitchen drinking whiskey with Elizabeth when she feels a tap on her shoulder.

"James!" she says happily, giving him a hug. She quickly realizes he is not alone. Ah, these must be the famous friends.

"Good to finally meet you, Lily", the first of them says, and Lily has to try not to stare. This has got to be the most attractive person she has ever met. It is almost unreal. "Sirius Black."

She shakes his hand. "I… have you met my friend Elizabeth?" she asks, shoving Elizabeth forward. The girl is positively ogling the man. Sirius laughs. "Nice to meet you too, Elizabeth", he says good-naturedly, shaking her hand. Then he turns back to Lily.

"So", he says, "Is it true what James says?"

Lily feels a smile playing at her lips. "The depends, what does James say?"

"That you're the best girl he's ever taken out on a date", Sirius says, and James beams from behind him. "I mean, he also says you've got huge-"

"Lily, this is Remus!" James interrupts, and Lily laughs outright. Remus seems like a sweet guy, giving her a shy smile and shaking her hand, just as Sirius did.

"Don't listen to anything Sirius says", he tells her, rolling his eyes, "He likes a laugh, that one."

Lily shakes her head. "I can see why he and James get on so well."

James's last friend, Peter, shakes her hand as well, and then she finds herself on the couch between James and Sirius, all doing their best at drinking each other under the table. She's got Remus and Peter beat, but she realizes quickly that she hasn't got a shot at catching James or Sirius. She looks around for Elizabeth- the girl can drink like no one's business, that's for sure. When she doesn't find her, she turns to Sirius, the alcohol loosening her tongue.

"You should go find Elizabeth!" she says, and she isn't certain, but she thinks she might be yelling, "She really likes you, you know!"

Sirius laughs, and somewhere, Lily registers that he doesn't sound as drunk as he should, with all the alcohol he's consumed.

"Thanks for the thought, Lily", he says, "But I'm actually seeing someone, at the moment."

Lily doesn't have time to respond, because suddenly, she feels something on her neck. It's James, wrapping his arms around her from behind. Without thinking, she turns around and presses her lips to his, pushing him back into the couch. He responds immediately, his hands at her waist. She starts to fumble with the buttons on his shirt.

"Oi, mate!" Sirius yells, laughing. He sounds very far away. "Take that somewhere private, would you?"

James grunts, and whispers, "hold on" in Lily's ears. Suddenly, he's standing up and taking her with him, and she instinctively wraps her legs around his waist. He doesn't break the kiss, she she isn't entirely sure how he knows where he's going, but she doesn't care. He is more intoxicating than all the alcohol she's drunk. He takes her upstairs, trying a few different doors only to find they are, all of them, locked- it seems others have had similar ideas to them. Finally, James mumbles, "Fuck it", and opens a window at the end of the hallway, one that leads to the roof.

"Is this a good idea?" Lily asks. They are both slurring their words, perhaps a roof is not ideal.

"No", James responds, and then he climbs out the window, gesturing for Lily to follow.

It's a clear night, decently warm for autumn. For a moment, both of them simply stare into the distance, at the surrounding town.

"I like Cokeworth", he finally says, breaking the silence.

"I like you", she says, and then they're kissing again, and one of them pulls the other down, she isn't sure who, but they're lying down on the roof slats, and his hand is at the hem of her shirt. He gives it a tentative tug, as if asking permission, and she practically growls, reaching for it herself, telling him to pull it off. He stares at her for a moment, eyes wide. She didn't wear a bra.

"Your turn", she whispers, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. He doesn't bother with buttons, simply rips the thing right down the middle. She gasps, running her hand over his chest. And then he's kissing her again, and she's kissing him back, and for a moment it is like the entire rest of the world has melted away and they are the only two people left.

She isn't sure how long it's been, when he finally breaks the kiss. But she thinks she can see the sun coming up, somewhere on the horizon. Shit, that means she's got to work in a few hours.

"I think it's time for you to go home", he says, and she tries to argue, but he shushes her. "No, it is. Believe me, I don't like it either. You and Elizabeth are going home together?"

She nods.

"Well, then we'd better get you to her." He grabs her hand and pulls her up, helps her stumble her way across the uneven roof and helps her gently back through the window.

She decides it must've been the alcohol, later. Yes, she decides firmly, it was the alcohol, making her imagine funny things. But she could've sworn that she had turned around to find him gone, disappeared right off the roof.

* * *

He does not call her for two weeks.

She tries not to be mad, really she does. After last time, she has learned the consequences of jumping to conclusions. But still, she is more than a little annoyed. Surely he isn't in the hospital _again_?

"I need you to give me your telephone number", she says, as soon as he does ring her, cutting him off before he can even finish his hello, "It's ridiculous that I don't have it."

He sighs. "I'm so sorry Lily, it… that never even occurred to me. I… I was sort of hoping you wouldn't find out, but I… I don't actually have a telephone, myself. I've… I've been using Remus's. Do you… do you want his number?"

Lily rolls her eyes. That does make a little bit of sense. "No, I… it's alright, I suppose. Anyway, look. I'm really glad you called when you did, actually, because I've got something to ask you. My band's got a gig in London, this weekend, and I've got the time off from the liquor store. Petunia can't come with me, and much as I love Norah, I'd prefer not to bunk with her. Do… would you like… I mean, only if you want-"

"I'd love to come to London with you", he says instantly, "Really. When should we meet?"

They make plans to meet at the bus stop Friday night, after Lily closes the shop, and that's that.

* * *

If Lily didn't know better, she would think James had never taken the bus before. He doesn't know where to pay, takes forever to choose a seat, and tries to open a window. Further evidence of his strangeness, she supposes. She laughs it off, at least he agreed to come.

Petunia had been scandalized when she had mentioned James was coming with her to see her in London, and she hadn't even mentioned that they would be sharing a hotel room. Lily is slightly worried about what other people might think, if they only get one hotel room. Apparently, though, James has thought of this, because halfway through the bus ride he hands her a simple silver ring.

"Only if you want it", he says sheepishly, "Just, you know, to keep people from judging and all that."

She smiles, laughs a bit, and says she appreciates it very much. It is only towards the very end of the bus ride, after James has fallen asleep, that she is able to admit to herself that she quite likes the look of his ring on her finger.

* * *

The first night, Lily takes the bed, and James makes himself a pile of pillows and sprawls out on the floor. Lily promises to take the floor the next night but James waves her off, says she's the star pianist here, she should take the bed. She laughs and sends him out for some take away, and he returns with a pizza and some sodas, looking very pleased with himself. Lily falls asleep more excited for Saturday's gig than she's been in a long while. For a gig or for anything else.

When she steps on stage the next day, however, she realizes that she is a bit nervous. She is a pub musician. This is a real club, with seats and tickets and an audience highly unlikely to be absolutely wasted while she plays. She fidgets with her hands, draws her fingers through her hair, and wishes she had a drink. She is considering marching right up to Norah and telling her she is dying, that she can hardly stand, can't see straight, can't stay on her feet, that there is no way she is going to be able to go on. But then she looks out into the audience only to see James grinning back at her, and suddenly she is flying, she is ten thousand feet in the sky and free falling, and she marches onto the stage and throws everything she has into the piano in front of her. It is as if her fingers are on fire, as if she is both puppet and puppet master in the world's greatest show, and she really can't see now, but that's alright, she doesn't need to, she has always seen more clearly with her ears, anyway.

* * *

She is still floating when the night finishes, and she doesn't completely remember how she found her way back to James, all she knows is that he is kissing her very hard in the audience, mumbling _that was incredible_ and _oh my god_ and _Jesus Christ, Lily_ and Norah is good-naturedly telling them to get a room.

"We've got one", James tells her brightly, and then he is leading Lily back to the hotel. The walk seems unnaturally long. He makes up for it as soon as they are back in the hotel room, pushing her against the wall before the door has even swung all the way closed, and she wraps her legs around his waist as he hoists her up, and very suddenly, she is no longer floating like she has been all night. Suddenly, both of her feet are planted firmly on the ground. They go quicker, faster than they ever have before, James's hands in her hair, under her shirt, on her waist. He lifts her off the wall and places her on the bed, and she moans as he lays her down and pulls his shirt off. She does the same to her own shirt, as quickly as she can, and her bra follows. She lets him lean over her, lets him put his mouth all over her neck, and she gasps as she feels his hands at the waistband of her pants.

"Do you want to stop?" James asks.

"Fuck no", she breathes, "Please, James."

She has never done this before. Honestly, she had never even particularly wanted to, not with any of the boys she's gone out with and not with any of the boys she's drunkenly kissed at parties or pubs. This, though, this is different. She has never wanted anything more. And so she tucks her thumbs into the waistband of her jeans and pulls them down. James pulls her knickers off. And when she finally feels him inside of her, she hopes, somewhere, in the back of her mind, that they don't get kicked out of the hotel, because she is _screaming_ his name.

* * *

She realizes, afterwards, just as she is about to drift off next to James, that they've been rash. They did not use protection, and it is too late to employ any of the usual rudimentary methods. James, it seems, has had the same thought. He stands up very suddenly, says he is going to step outside for a quick moment. Fifteen minutes later, just when Lily was starting to worry, he returns, holding a small vial housing a bright blue liquid that Lily does not recognize. Surely he couldn't have gotten this at the local chemist's?

"Drink this", he says, handing it to her, "It'll prevent… you know. I'm told it doesn't taste great, sorry about that."

He is right, it tastes disgusting, but she is too tired to care even a little bit. She feels herself start to drift off almost immediately afterwards.

Later on, she would tell herself that she was seeing things, either because of that medicine or because she was falling asleep or both.

But she could've sworn, just before she fell asleep, that she saw James pull a long, thin, wooden stick out of his pocket.

* * *

It is a few days after their return from London, and Lily's working in the shop. She hasn't seen or heard from James since, but really, it's only been a few days, and she's slowly learned to accept that he is not exactly excellent at calling her in a timely manner. And so she sits behind the counter, thinking about her gig tonight. It's less than ten minutes to close, and the pub she's performing at is a bit further than usual, so she'll have to run. She's just considering closing up early and making a break for it now when she hears the bells at the door ring.

The customer is big, burly and unpleasant-looking. She has just begun to be annoyed that someone has come in so soon before closing when everything goes black.

* * *

She wakes up on the ground in a cellar.

At least, she thinks it is a cellar. The wooden boards above her head suggest that it is. She tries to sit up, to look around, but finds herself unable to move. This scares her, a lot. She doesn't feel anything on her skin to tie her down, and besides, even if she were tied down, she should still be able to move a little. But no, she is completely immobile, lying on what feels like a dirt floor. What drug could do that?

She hears a door open, and though she cannot turn to look, she thinks someone has entered the room. "Ah, you're awake!" a male voice says. He mumbles something, and suddenly she is able to move again. She tries not to show how unnerved this makes her.

"What… what do you want with me?" she asks, turning to look at the stranger. It is a strange sight. He is wearing… surely not a dress… some sort of robe? And he has a long, thin stick pointed at her. Suddenly, an image flashes across Lily's mind of James pulling a similar stick from his pocket, an image she had convinced herself she had imagined.

"It's nothing personal, doll", the man says, his eyes roaming her body, "But a little birdie told us James Potter's been spending a lot of time with a pretty little Muggle girl from Cokeworth. Couldn't pass up an opportunity like that, you'll understand."

Lily absorbs very little of this. She does not know what a Muggle is, but she can tell he means it to be offensive. Still, she has never been one to go quietly, Lily Evans.

"The police will find me", she whispers, "And when they do…"

"Stupid girl!" he interrupts, and there is some sick glee in his face, "Has he really not told you? James Potter is really keeping his pet Muggle in the dark? Oh, you're in for a rude awakening, girlie. Crucio!"

A jet of red light shoots from the end of his wand, and Lily doesn't even have time to be surprised before there is pain upon pain upon pain, the worst pain she has ever felt, let it end, oh please let it end, she can't take it any more, she's going to die, she's going to die.

"You'll learn quickly, girl", he growls, and the curse stops, and it is all Lily can do not to throw up, "That there are many things James Potter hasn't told you."

* * *

This, this is what had been strange about James, she thinks after the man puts a glass of water on the ground and leaves her alone. He is involved in... in some sort of cult. Some sort of cult where... where they are messing with funny drugs, that must be it, highly illegal, experimental drugs. She almost doesn't drink the water in case it contains more of these funny drugs, but thirst wins out, in the end. Her stomach growls. She imagines she was unconscious for hours, maybe even a full day. Suddenly, she is mad. They really couldn't have bothered to give her something to eat?

She stands up, begins to walk towards the clearly locked door, to do what, she isn't sure. But as she approaches, she starts to feel lightheaded, getting progressively dizzier as she gets closer to the door. And suddenly, there is a blinding pain behind her eye, like a migraine but worse, and she falls to the ground. Her last thought before everything goes black is that she supposes it is because she is so hungry. She doesn't remember it when she wakes up, but she doesn't try to go near that door again.

* * *

She does not know how long she is trapped there, in that room. There are no windows, so it is difficult to keep track of the passage of time. Someone comes in with some water and occasionally something to eat every now and again, and she supposes they have not put any further drugs in it, because she doesn't see anything else strange for a while. After her seventh delivered glass of water, however, the same man as before slips into her room. He is, it seems, here to stay for a bit.

"Hello, Lily", he says, and she shudders. She did not tell him her name. "Mind if I sit?"

Lily doesn't answer, but she's confused, there is no place to sit. But then the man pulls that same long stick out of his pocket, and suddenly a chair materializes from _thin air_.

Drugs. They've put more drugs in her food. She is hallucinating.

"Forgive me, doll", he says, though his voice does not sound sorry at all, and he is grinning with some sick glee, "Nothing personal. But I suppose that's what you get, messing around with prats like Potter."

Lily sees the red light again, and all she feels is pain, all she knows is pain, all she has is pain, let it end, let it die, ohpleasemakeitstop. It doesn't, though, not like last time. It keeps going and going and going until she is sure her throat is bleeding from screaming, and only then does it finally, finally stop. She feels the man's hand at her neckline, on her hip, and she whimpers pitifully, but she cannot fight him, she can't even lift her head. He runs a hand almost gently through her hair before she finally feels his hands leave her, and she could cry with relief.

"James Potter won't let them hold him back any longer after this", he mutters, and she whimpers just a bit as he presses his wand to her head, but he does nothing that hurts, only touches his wand to her head and pulls it away. Attached to it is something long, thin and shiny, something that looks like some sort of hair. And then he walks out, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Lily can't deny it any longer. Magic. They are doing magic, and those sticks, she supposes, are magic wands.

If she ever gets out of here, she's going to _kill_ James.

* * *

Four glasses of water later, however, she is almost convinced that she never will get out of here. The man has visited one other time, tortured her, touched her, pulled that strange silver thread from her head, but other than that, no one has visited her, and she is very weak, she knows this. She does not know if it is from the torture or the lack of nutrition or maybe even something slipped into her water, but she is cold all of the time, and she isn't entirely sure she could stand all the way up, if she tried. She refuses to give up, though. She refuses to stop hoping. She does not care if it is foolish, the thought of getting out of here, of seeing James and Petunia and Elizabeth and Norah and everyone else she loves, is enough to keep her going.

And so, when she sees a familiar face standing at the door, sneering down at her, she doesn't cower. She _rages_.

" _You!_ " she yells, pushing herself to her feet. She is unsteady on her feet, barely able to walk, but she tries anyway. "You sold me out, you told them about me and James, didn't you? _Didn't you, Snape?_ "

"I did", he says simply, and there is disdain in his voice, though perhaps not as much as she would expect. "It's been a while, Evans."

"I'm going to kill you", she hisses, "If I ever get out of here, you better never show your bloody face in Cokeworth again, because I'll fucking kill you! I'll tell everyone what you did to me! I… you…"

"There are things you don't understand, Evans", he says, a nasty sneer on his face. "Messing around with Potter was very stupid of you, indeed. Actions have consequences."

She tries to stumble towards him, and finds she is unable to get near him. She sees the stick in his hand, deduces that he is magically keeping her away from him. Coward. " _Fuck you_ ", she growls.

He sighs, and if she didn't know better, she would think that that sigh held just the smallest bit of regret. "Lie back down, Evans. You'll hurt yourself like that. Stupid girl." And then he's gone.

* * *

God, Petunia must be absolutely frantic with worry about her, she absently thinks to herself, lying alone in the dark.

* * *

James comes for her while she is asleep. She's dozing between glasses of water number twenty-three and twenty-four when she is pulled out of her sleep by the sounds of screaming, of struggling. She has no weapon and no way to defend herself, considering she can't even stand, really, but the man who bursts through the door, wand raised, is not an enemy.

"Sirius?" she asks. "Sirius!"

"Oh, Lily, oh Merlin, oh fuck", he mumbles, lowering his wand and running to her. He is wearing robes, just like her kidnappers. "Can you walk?"

"Not really", she says, "I… is James here?"

"Yes", Sirius says, "And we'll explain everything later, I promise, but we have to get you out of here. Can I carry you? I can't Apparate out of here, we need to go upstairs…"

Lily doesn't know what that means, but she nods her permission, and he picks her up. He runs up a flight of stairs, and they emerge into a raging battle. Lily can only stare in awe as jets of light pass from one side of the room to another, sometimes meeting each other in thin air, sometimes finding a mark in one of the many bodies running about the room.

"James!" Sirius bellows, and suddenly James is there, wearing robes similar to Sirius's, his face screwed up in pain.

"Oh Lily, oh Lily, I'm so sorry, I-"

"No time for that now, mate!" Sirius yells, passing her to James as gently as he can while still being quick, "Just take her out of here, quickly, go!"

"We'll still get her, Potter!" the big, burly man screams as James starts to turn, "You can't hide her forever!" Around him, his fellows cheer. The only one who doesn't, Lily can't help but notice, is Severus Snape. And then she feels the most sickening sensation she's ever felt, like she's being squeezed and spun around upside down, and they're gone.

* * *

She wakes up in a soft bed. For a moment she panics, thinking she has been moved for some sinister reason, but then she remembers her rescue, remembers Sirius and James and that sickening spinning feeling. As she remembers, she also becomes acutely aware that someone is holding her hand.

"James?" she asks, and she is scared by how hoarse her voice is. She opens her eyes to see him sitting in a chair by the bed, looking like the living dead. His eyes widen when he hears her.

"Oh, Lily, thank Merlin, holy shit, Lily, fuck…" he mumbles incoherently, squeezing her hand and running his other hand through his hair. He looks positively exhausted.

"So I've heard", she says dryly, and her voice cracks painfully as she does.

"Water!" he says suddenly, "You need water!" He drops her hand and jumps up, moving toward a door Lily hadn't noticed before, and she realizes she is in some sort of… hospital?

"James?" she asks after he has returned with a pitcher of water, and she has drained two glasses, "Where am I?"

He shakes his head. "I… you're at my old school, Lily, in the hospital wing. I… I owe you a lot of explanations."

"Yes", Lily agrees, "You do."

He sighs. Before he can say anything else, though, the door opens, and a man who looks to be older than Lily ever thought possible steps through.

"Professor Dumbledore!" James exclaims. It seems he knows the man.

"I have told you that you may call me Albus, James", the man says, and though his words are kind, his tone is weary. He turns his eyes on her. "Miss Evans, you're awake!"

She nods. "Yes. I… who are you?"

The man smiles. "Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry and the head of the Order of the Phoenix."

Lily blinks. "Pardon?"

The man- Albus Dumbledore?- sighs. "You know, Miss Evans, usually, it is our policy to obligate Muggles who see magic- that is, remove the memories of those without magical powers who are unfortunate enough to witness magic being performed. We had been planning to modify your memory as you slept, and allow you to wake up with no memory of the magical part of your ordeal. It was Mr. Potter who insisted to the contrary. It is one of our laws that magic is to be kept secret from non magical people. The law is not strictly enforced, however, when a wizard or witch falls in love with a Muggle, and wishes to tell them. Mr. Potter successfully argued his case to keep you informed of the goings-on."

"Oh", Lily says. It's all she can manage. Suddenly, she is very, very tired. Albus Dumbledore's eyes soften.

"Our Matron, Madame Pomphrey, has been tending to you. I am afraid that your captors did rather a number on you. In addition to the repeated use of the torture curse, they weakened you significantly via poisons slipped into your water supply, all in an attempt to draw Mr. Potter to you, and with him, the majority of the Order of the Pheonix."

"But… but why?" Lily finally manages. James and Dumbledore share a look, and then James opens his mouth. Lily can only stare as James, with occasional interjections from Dumbledore, explains all about the war he is fighting in, about the dark wizard determined to ensure that relationships like hers and James will soon be a thing of the past, about the magical world in general. When he finally goes quiet, it's all she can do to keep from losing consciousness again.

"I will leave you to rest here, then, Miss Evans", Dumbledore says gently.

"No", she finds herself saying, somewhat more fiercely that she'd intended, "Take me to my sister. Please. I'm sure she's positively sick with worry."

James and Dumbledore look at each other, and Dumbledore shrugs.

"Alright, Lily", James says, "I'll take you home."

* * *

Lily is happy she is able to walk again, thanks to Madame Pomphrey's potions, because she doesn't know if Petunia could've handled seeing James carry her into the house. As soon as she knocks on the door, a frantic Petunia answers the door, her usually perfectly styled curls hanging free, days-old mascara coating her face.

"Lily!" she screams in an undignified squawk that Lily is shocked she could produce, and suddenly Petunia is hugging her so hard that she is nearly lifted off her feet, her sister's lack of upper-arm strength her only saving grace. For a longer time than she can remember Petunia ever hugging her, she just keeps her head buried in her sister's jumper and holds on tight. "I thought you were dead", Petunia keeps mumbling, "Oh, they told me you'd been kidnapped from the liquor store, and I thought you were dead, I thought you were dead, oh, _Lily_!"

"I'm here", Lily murmurs backs, "I'm so sorry, I got out day or so ago, but I was in the hospital, I couldn't come back here just yet…"

"Don't you apologize to me, silly girl", Petunia says, finally pulling back and placing her hands on Lily's shoulders to look at her sister properly. She smiles. It is only then that she seems to notice James.

"Who are you?"

Lily swallows. "This is… a boy I've been seeing for a bit, Tuney. He… drove me from the hospital, since he… er… happened to be there."

Petunia looks at her, at the both of them, looks between them. "Why do I not believe you?" She pulls Lily inside, to the kitchen, and sits her down. James follows.

"You want to tell me the real story?" she asks. Lily sighs.

"I… he… they kidnapped me because of him. The… the gang, that kidnapped me. They had some issue with James, and they knew we were together."

Petunia purses her lips into a thin line, looking over at James. "So you got my sister kidnapped and nearly killed because you were mixed up in some gang affairs?"

James looks ashamed as he nods. Petunia clicks her tongue.

"Well then", she says resolutely, angrily, "Get out of my house. And don't come back."

"Tuney!' Lily starts, but to her surprise, James cuts her off.

"I agree", he says simply, and Lily whips her head around to glare at him. He looks at her, apologetic. "I… this never would have happened if it wasn't for me, Lily. never. I… your sister is right Lily, you could've died, you could've been seriously hurt, you could've-"

"But I wasn't!" Lily says. Both Petunia and James open their mouths to speak, but she shushes them. "I wasn't. And even if I was, James, I… it would've been worth it, you hear me? It would've been worth it. You would've been worth it. I don't care if it's dangerous, I don't care if you're fighting a war, I don't care! I love you, and I'm a big girl, if I want to decide that loving you is enough to make everything else worth it, I'm allowed. And don't you dare try to do the noble thing and walk out on me, Potter, because I won't let you, I'll find you, wherever you go. You'll have to obliviate me if you want me to stop looking for you."

Lily closes her mouth with a huff. Petunia looks like she's going to explode, and in her anger, she doesn't question the word _obliviate_. But James… James is crying.

"I love you too, Lily", he says, and that's enough for her, she's falling into his arms and kissing every part of his face that she can reach.

" _Honestly!_ " Petunia yells, and leaves the kitchen, slamming the door with a bang. Lily and James break apart, take one look at each other, and begin to laugh hysterically.

* * *

Apparently, Dumbledore has done some meddling, because her boss at the liquor store believes she'd been kidnapped by a Muggle gang and is still recovering from her injuries (which isn't entirely untrue). She has a few days off, which she spends lying in her bed, drinking foul potions that the Hogwarts Matron had sent home with her. James visits frequently, one day bringing Sirius, Remus and Peter while Petunia is at work.

"Thanks for the rescue", she says when she sees Sirius, who shakes his head.

"You wouldn't have needed rescuing if it wasn't for us", he says, but he's smiling. "I'm really glad you're okay, Lily."

"James was ridiculously worried about you", Peter adds, "As soon as he realized you were missing. And then they started sending your memories… I mean, he would've marched right in there himself and gotten himself killed if we hadn't agreed to go when we did."

"Ah, well", Sirius says, and Lily's eyes widen slightly as he grabs Remus's jaw, tilts his face up, and kisses him right on the lips, "I suppose you can't stop love."

And that is how Lily finally learns why Sirius wasn't interested in Elizabeth. It is also how she learns that the prejudices against same-sex couples that exist in her world are nonexistent in the wizarding world. This makes her smile.

* * *

James insists on taking her to meet his mother, afterwards. After all, he argues, he has now met her sister, it is time for her to meet his family. His father has died only a few months before they met, and his mother is certainly going to go too, soon, but still, he insists, she's a lovely woman, and she'll love Lily. After repeated assurances that yes, his mother knows she is a Muggle, and no, she will not care, Lily finally agrees. James beams.

She asks what she should wear. He has never said it, but James has been paying for everything from the start, has always worn expensive, likely tailored clothes, and Lily grew up in Cokeworth- she can recognize immediately if someone has money. She has never been to dinner with anyone who has money before. He decides that he will take her into the Wizarding part of London- which he has to ensure her several times actually exists- and get her some dress robes, whichever she likes. One fascinating, wonderful, illuminating trip later, she's got a pair of beautiful blue robes trimmed with lace. Though she secretly feels they make her look s a bit like a Medieval lady-in-waiting, she doesn't mind the look. Before James picks her up on Sunday night, she even styles her hair into old-fashioned milkmaid braids, completing the look.

She wasn't mistaken about James's money- his family home is _huge_ , the sort of house she has only seen in magazines and movies. Perhaps he can tell she is intimidated, because he grabs her hand firmly and gives it a squeeze.

"It's not much", he says, mischief in his eyes. She smacks him, laughing. He laughs along with her until they reach the door. He raises his hand to knock, but the door opens before he can.

"Mum!' James says happily. His mother is a very small, very old woman, positively dwarfed by her tall, boisterous son. She has his kind eyes, and his posh accent.

"Oh, James, it's wonderful to see you!" she says to her son, kissing him on the cheek. Then she looks past him and sees Lily. "Oh, and you must be Lily! I've heard so much about you from James, really, he can't stop talking about you! Don't stand outside now, come in, come in!" Lily does so, and the woman greets her with a kiss on the cheek, as well.

It is easy to see where James got his happy, boisterous nature. It is positively impossible to stay nervous around this woman. She chatters excitedly as she leads them to what Lily assumes is the sitting room.

"Really, I was ever so happy when James asked if he could bring you over, I've been hearing about you for months, ever since he first saw you! Very taken with you he was, right from the beginning!' Lily smirks as she looks over to James and sees that he is blushing scarlet. "I do hope you don't mind a bit of mess, it's rather difficult to keep up with the place now that it's only me."

Lily certainly doesn't see any mess, and she is about to say as such when Mrs. Potter leads them into the sitting room. She is struck dumb by the sight of the grand piano. As a girl, she had learned on a beaten down piano that had been left over from the house's previous owner, a wreck of a thing that hadn't been tuned in quite some time. This piano… this piano is not like that.

This piano is the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

"Well, I'll go and get some tea, then!" the woman says excitedly. Lily automatically moves to follow her, surely a woman as old as she shouldn't be preparing tea all by herself, but the woman waves her hand disapprovingly.

"Uh uh, you stay right there, dear, you're a guest!" Mrs Potter exclaims, "James, come, you help me!" She leaves quickly, James in tow. Left alone in the room with that beautiful piano, Lily can't help herself. She doesn't care if it is rude, she is too drawn to the instrument to ignore it. She makes her way across the room, to the keys.

She sits down at the piano tentatively, nervously. She feels as if she needs to introduce herself to such a beautiful instrument, as if she needs to make sure it knows and likes her before she plays it. She runs her hand tentatively over the keys, not pressing hard enough for them to sound, only to acquaint herself with them, and presses ever so gently down on middle C, not loud enough for anyone to hear, even herself. Without even fully realizing it, she is laughing with delight. And then, as if she has been possessed, her hands begin to move of their own accord.

It has been a long time, years, even, since she has played classical music. She is a pub musician, she plays the rock, pop and occasional folk tunes that Norah writes. But her hands seem to remember every note, every movement, every rest, and she is breathing heavily as she pounds out Vivaldi, her entire body moving with the force of the music. She feels as if she is in the middle of a very intense workout. Oh, how she has missed this, and she hadn't even realized she had missed it! It was like finding a forgotten letter from an old lover tucked away in a drawer, and feeling the magic of old flames warm your heart once again. She closes her eyes for the last bit, letting the music consume her entirely, until she is no longer breathing, no longer existing, no longer a person, really, nothing but a vessel for the music to flow through. She stills as her playing finishes, coming back to herself.

She jumps at the sound of applause. James and his mother are standing in the doorway, shocked looks on their faces.

"Oh, that was wonderful, dear, wonderful! No one's played that piano in years and years!" Mrs Potter says, delighted, "Oh, James, you told me she played, but you didn't tell me…"

"Yes", he says, somewhat breathlessly. He steps a bit closer to her, meeting her eyes. "Merlin. I… I forgot you could do magic too, Lily."

* * *

Mrs. Potter, it turns out, is an excellent cook. Lily doesn't quite recognize what she is served, but she knows it smells delicious and tastes even better. As they eat, Mrs. Potter peppers her with questions about her life as a Muggle. At first, she panics, thinking she is being scrutinized, but she quickly realizes that Mrs. Potter finds her world as fascinating as she finds Mrs. potter's. When she learns that James and Lily took a bus to London and James didn't tell her, she nearly spits out her soup.

"Oh, James, you know I've always wondered how those things work!"

James puts his hands up in an "I surrender!" gesture, Lily laughs out loud. She is, she realizes, very simply and deeply happy. She does not care that she has just been tortured for days, or that she will be targeted as long as she is with James, or that James is fighting a war. Right now, she is laughing, and that is enough.

* * *

They retire back to the sitting room, after dinner. Mrs. Potter asks if Lily wouldn't mind playing a few more songs on the piano, and Lily happily obliges, to much applause. They play a few funny little board games, including a version of chess with talking pieces and a strange game with stones that squirt an unpleasant liquid into the loser's face. Mrs. Potter waxes poetic about her son's talent on a broomstick, and James enthusiastically offers to take her up with him one day- an offer which Lily firmly denies, she does not like heights and would prefer to keep her feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you very much. James amazes her by turning into a deer, then back again- apparently this is an uncommon skill, even among wizards. Finally, hours later, Mrs. Potter seems to be struggling to keep her eyes open, and James gently suggests that she go to bed. Lily fervently waves off her insistence that doing so would be rude, and she eventually makes her way upstairs, and James and Lily are left alone.

"I really like your mum", Lily says earnestly.

"I like her too", James replies, and Lily smiles. "And she really seemed to like you too. I should've warned you, she's only ever known wizards, she's right fascinated by everything about you." He hesitates a moment. "Not surprising, really. You're a positively fascinating girl."

His hazel eyes flash merrily, and she can't help but grin. "Is that so?"

He moves from his spot in an armchair across from her to the couch she is sitting on, grabbing her hand as he sits next to her. "Yes", he says, kissing her temple, "It is."

She stares at him for a moment, and suddenly her lips are on his, and she is closing her eyes. She pulls back when she begins to make little moans.

"Your mum-" she whispers, and he flashes her a grin as he pulls out his wand.

" _Silencio_ ", he murmurs, waving it about. "She won't hear a thing. Stand up, would you?"

"So commanding", she mumbles, doing as he says.

"It seems you like commanding", he says, chuckling as his hands press into her hips, pushing her against the wall. She attacks his lips with hers and is just starting to lose herself to his kiss, he turns his head away from her. He is, she realizes, staring at the piano, the glint of a new idea shining on his face.

"You play that piano like you're making love to it", James says, and there is something very hungry in his eyes. "Tell me, would it be blasphemous to make love on it?"

Lily laughs, but nothing is funny, really. "Maybe I don't mind a little blasphemy, every now and then." She gasps a bit as James moves his hands to the back of her neck, and she wraps her arms around his neck as she moves to the piano and lets him bend her over it. His fingers trace the neckline of her robes.

"I really do love these", he says, "And I promise I'll bring them back, when we're done." He waves his wand, and suddenly both her robes and his are gone, and despite the heat of the situation, she still marvels a bit at the magic. Very quickly, though, she puts it out of her mind as James begins to show her a different sort of magic.

"You know, I've wanted to fuck you over this very piano ever since I first saw you play", he says as he does just that, his voice breathless. She can't find the energy to respond verbally, so she only gives a little groan, thrusting her hips up to meet his. Finally, finally, she has found something even better than playing the piano. She digs her nails into his back as she feels him spill inside of her, the piano the only thing keeping her from hitting the floor as she screams her own release. For a moment they only lie there, panting heavily. Then Lily laughs.

"Don't tell your mum about this", she whispers, "I know you say she likes me, but I don't want to push my luck _that_ far!"

* * *

Lily is worried. She can't help it. It has been eight days since she had met James's mum, and two days since he had promised to call her. She isn't mad at him for missing the scheduled time, now that she knows the reason he was so unreliable with phone calls, but she is worried. The only thing that would keep her from calling her is Order business, she knows this for sure. And so when she gets home, absolutely exhausted, she doesn't fall right into bed like she usually does. Instead, she falls onto their small couch, staring as best she can in the dark at the clock on the wall. Perhaps if she stares at the clock long enough, it'll be tomorrow, and he'll give her a call. Maybe if she sits here and thinks about him long enough, it'll prevent him from being injured, or captured, or… God forbid… Merlin forbid… dead.

Almost as if he was summoned by her worry, suddenly there is a desperate banging on the door, and a voice she recognizes as his. She jumps up immediately and sprints to the foyer, gasping at the sight as she throws the door open. Sirius, James and a woman Lily does not recognize are supporting a man Lily also does not recognize. All fo them are covered in blood, but the man they are supporting is by far the worst.

"I'm so sorry, Lily", James says, and there's a desperation that lets her know that he really means it, "But we in the area, and he's in no position to Apparate…"

"Well, don't just stand there!" Lily interrupts, "Come in, come in! Get him inside, hurry!" They do as she says.

"Alice, go cast the usual wards!" James says to the woman, who throws one last, worried look at the nearly unconscious man that they are supporting before drawing a wand and running outside. James turns to her. "Do you have a table long enough to lay him on? A couch won't do for something like this, we don't want him falling asleep."

"Kitchen", Lily says shortly, leading them to the back of her small house. She gestures to the kitchen table, and James and Sirius together are able to move the man as gently as possible onto the table.

"Who is this?" Lily asks James as Sirius examines the man's injuries, "What… what happened?"

"Death Eaters", James says gravely, "Tracked us down on a mission just a few miles South of here. I was going to surprise you tonight anyway, you know, since we were so close, sorry it's got to be like this. That's Frank Longbottom, his wife Alice is outside setting wards just to make sure the Death Eaters won't find us again. They got all of us, but they got Frank the worst. Do you know what they hit him with, Sirius?"

Sirius looks grave. "Dolohov's damn curse, got to be. Cousin Bella probably got him too, that gash on his chest looks like her handiwork."

Before anyone can reply, Petunia bursts into the kitchen, clad in a dressing gown with her hair in rollers. They have neglected to cast that silencing charm James used at his house, Lily realizes. "And just what the bloody hell is going on here?" Petunia yells, her choice of words indicative of how annoyed she truly is. Petunia never swears. Her anger, however, seems to dissipate when she sees the scene in front of her.

"What… what on _Earth?_ ", she whispers, almost as if to herself. Lily exhales slowly.

"Go back to sleep, Tuney", she says as gently as she can manage, "Just... just go upstairs, and pretend you never saw anything. You have work in the morning."

"I most certainly will not go back upstairs!' she yells, and her eyes find James. "You! You've brought your… your _mess_ into this house, haven't you? That… that gang you're involved with, you've gone and gotten yourself hurt, haven't you? Well I won't stand for it, I won't! Get the bloody fuck out of my house! I… I…" Petunia is breathing very heavily. She is, Lily realizes, hyperventilating. Lily swears. They can't afford to have another patient.

"Have her drink this", James says out of the corner of his mouth, passing her something under the table so that Petunia will not see it. Smart boy, surely she wouldn't take anything if she knew it had come from James. "Calming Draught."

Lily takes the proffered vial and places a hand on her sister's shoulder, trying to calm her down. "Tuney", she says, "Please. Please, you need to drink this. For me? Please?"

Half delirious with rage and confusion and worry, Petunia does as she is told. The effect is instantaneous. "Lily?" she asks, a bit of confusion in her voice, "Did they keep you late at that pub? What are you doing up so late?"

"Just…. Just making a snack, Tuney. Go to bed, now", she coaxes, and her sister nods and makes for the door, looking over the other people in the kitchen with nothing but a very mild interest as she does. Lily sighs in relief when she is gone, but the anxiety returns full force when she remembers the injured man on her kitchen table.

"Can you fix him?" Lily asks nervously. James nods.

"Yes, we can", he promises, "And we will. Lily, do me a huge favor, darling, and wait in the other room, okay? I promise, I will come get you when we're done."

But Lily shakes her head. "Fuck no, James Potter. I may not be magic, but I know how medicine works, you're going to need an extra hand, on something like this. I'm staying right here."

And stay she does. She makes herself useful holding towels and passing James or Alice vials and pills and salves out of Sirius's bag, and by the time the sun starts to rise, Frank's eyes are beginning to flutter open, just a bit, just for a few seconds at a time. James collapses into a kitchen chair, wiping sweat from his brow. Across the table. Sirius does the same, and Alice grasps her husband's hand, pressing her forehead to it.

"Thank you very much, Lily", James finally says. "Frank is going to be fine, if we've done everything right."

Lily nods. "Good. That's very good. Do… do any of you want… tea, or breakfast, maybe?"

James gives her a look of affection that warms her heart, despite her exhaustion. "Oh, Lily, that's very kind of you. But I think you should go to sleep. You haven't slept, have you?"

"Have you?" she counters. He doesn't answer. But he is right, she does need to sleep. She has work in only a few hours. She sighs. "Alright, then. Let me just tidy up the kitchen…"

"I'll do it", Alice interjects, and with a wave of her wand, everything about the kitchen is just as it was before four very bloody people traipsed through it. Lily flashes her a grateful smile.

"Alright, then", she says, "I'm going to go to bed. Stay here as long as you need, but I warn you- Petunia usually wakes around seven, and she won't take kindly to the site of all of you."

"We'll leave in a few minutes, as soon as Frank is well enough to Apparate. Here, I'll walk you upstairs", James says, and despite her exhaustion, Lily grins at his poorly veiled excuse to spend time alone with her. He follows her all the way to her bedroom, and she pulls him inside when he hesitates. He turns to face her, and his hand goes to cup her cheek.

"I… I truly am sorry, Lily", he says sheepishly. Lily shakes her head.

"Don't you dare apologize", she says, "You're fighting a war, James, a good, noble, honorable fight. Come here any time you need. If I could, I'd be fighting alongside you. Seeing as I can't, I'm here to help you in any way I can."

"You can help me", he says, stepping closer to her, "By staying alive. I need you. Now go to sleep." He presses one gentle kiss to her forehead before gently pushing her into bed, and she doesn't resist. He leaves, and she's out like a light.

Petunia doesn't mention it, the next evening, when she next sees her. With the kitchen cleaned and nothing out of place, Lily assumes that her sister believes the whole ordeal to have been some sort of odd, unpleasant dream.

Lily is envious at the thought.

* * *

James surprises her at the liquor store a few days after that, with a bouquet of roses and a big box of chocolates. He cannot stay long, he says he is actually currently on a mission and has snuck away to see her. She is tempted to scold him, but can't find it in her to do so, not with that look on his face. She keeps the box that the chocolates came in long after they're gone, keeps it for the rest of her life, using it to tuck away photographs and letters and other little things that she loves with all her heart.

* * *

Lily picks up a few solo gigs in addition to her nightly performances with her band, trying to keep her mind off of things. She either needs more piano or more vodka to keep herself from going mad at this point, and Lily knows which one she prefers. Besides, she has recently remembered that she really does very much enjoy classical piano, since that night with James. It is during one of these nights, sitting at a grand piano in an upscale restaurant a little outside of Cokeworth, that the Death Eaters find her again.

She doesn't know if they've come for her, or just to cause chaos, just to wreak havoc. It doesn't really matter, she supposes. When she sees the first flash of white light and the ensuing fire, people around her panic, not knowing what's going on, but she knows immediately, and she jumps to her feet. She has to run. Has to get out of here now. Has to find a way to contact James…

Suddenly, something hits her from behind, and she's violently thrown off her feet. She feels herself flip through the air before her back smacks the nearest wall, and she slides to the ground headfirst. She crumbles to the floor in a heap. She cannot walk like this, can't even move- judging from the intense, shooting pain, she has broken something in her lower back. She swears softly when she sees a pair of black, leather-like boots making their way towards her. A Death Eater has found her.

"Lily Evans", says a low voice, and Lily is surprised that it carries much less malice than she would've expected. She recognizes it.

"Snape", she hisses back, "Found me again, did you?"

"It's you that keeps getting yourself into trouble, Evans", he says, and she manages to drag herself to a better position so that she can look at him. He points his wand at her, and she realizes she is out of options.

"I… please, Snape", she finally says. Begging is all she has left. "Let an old friend go?"

He sneers, but he doesn't curse her. He is, she realizes, hesitating. For whatever reason, he is hesitating. "I should kill you", he says, but he isn't saying it to her, not really. She says nothing, only stares at him for an impossibly long moment until finally, finally, he lowers his wand.

"You're too stupid to live long, Evans", he says, already turning to go, "Someone will get you, one of these days!" And then he's gone. She is relieved for a moment before she realizes she is still in a burning building, she still can't walk, and she will still surely die here, whether Snape kills her or not. She should've let him do it, at least then she wouldn't have had to suffer a slow death via smoke inhalation. She closes her eyes, and then she starts to laugh. She chokes on the smoke, but she doesn't stop. After everything, she's going to die lying in immense pain against the wall in a fancy restaurant, unable to stand up and walk away because she's broken her spine. Just as she is about to pass out, she sees a flash of hazel.

* * *

She wakes up in her own bed. James and Petunia both sit by her bedside. It seems they were able to put their differences aside, in lieu of her injuries. At the moment, though, both of them seem to be asleep. In James's hands, she sees what she supposes is a wizarding newspaper, because the pictures are _moving_. The headlines reads _17 Muggles Dead In Death Eater Terror Attack._

She lived. But seventeen people didn't. Seventeen people who, hours before, had been enjoying Sunday roasts and dancing as she played the piano.

"Lily?" Petunia says suddenly, waking up with a jump. At her words, James is awake too, looking very worried.

"How do you feel?" he asks immediately, "I healed you myself, because you were doing really bad, you broke your back, but I've never healed a Muggle before, so I wasn't sure…"

"I feel great", she says, honestly. There is absolutely no trace of the terrible pain in her back she remembers from the restaurant. "Did you rescue me?"

James nods. "The Order was already on our way. We don't think they were going for you specifically, they just wanted to cause trouble. We got wind of it about five minutes before it happened from one of our spies. I didn't know you'd be there, I swear to Merlin my heart stopped when I saw you on the ground. I grabbed you and took you straight here and healed you up."

"Thank you for saving my sister, Mr. Potter", Petunia says grudgingly, and Lily's heart soars. But then Petunia's eyes narrow. "Now get out of my house, and don't come back."

"I… Petunia!" Lily says. Petunia turns to her, and her eyes don't soften like they usually do. "I mean it, Lily. That's twice now you've almost died. Go home, Mr. Potter, and don't come back."

"Take me with you", Lily says suddenly. She doesn't know where it came from, but now that she's said it, she knows that she meant it. "I can take care of your mother, while you're on missions. And I'll be safer at your place, and Petunia will be safer if I'm not here. I'll need a few days to… to get things in order, and of course you'll have to ask your mother, but… I want to. If you'll have me, of course", she adds at the end, suddenly embarrassed.

James blinks. "I… yes, I… of course I will, Lily! But… but are you sure that… are you sure that's a good…"

"Of course it bloody well isn't a good idea!" Petunia interrupts, "It's a terrible idea! You, Potter, I've let you stay until she woke up like you wanted, now out! Out!" Petunia radiates anger as she speaks, and it seems James has the good sense to listen. He stands, and Petunia makes to follow him out. Lily calls after him, though.

"Give me three days!" she yells, "Three days and I'll be ready!" He starts to yell something back, but she hears a door slam, and she knows Petunia has thrown him out.

* * *

She knows that she has to do. Honestly, she's been considering it for a long time now. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less now that she is actually doing it.

"You're… you're _what_?" Norah demands, her cheeks flushed, "But _why_ , Lily?"

"I… I can't explain, Norah", Lily says, and she sounds pathetic, even to her own ears. "I wish I could. But just… this is the right thing, for me."

"You can't just leave the band, Lily!" Norah protests, but Lily's mind is made.

"Believe me when I say that I don't want to. But I have to. I'll see you around, Norah. Thank you to you and everyone else for the best years of my life." Lily turns to leave the pub at that. She has told Norah after a gig on a Saturday, so that the band can hopefully find a substitute keyboard player during the Sunday off before their next gig. Lily doesn't turn around again as she hears Norah calling after her. She doesn't want Norah to see her cry.

* * *

When Petunia comes home from work the next night to find Lily crying on the couch, she sighs.

"Did James break it off with you?" she asks. Lily can hear the hope in her voice.

"No", she says curtly, "Now, go away."

Petunia, however, does not go away. Rolling her eyes a bit, she sits down next to her sister. "What is it, then?"

"I quit my band", Lily whispers. Petunia goes still. "So I could move in with James, you know."

Petunia tentatively puts a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lily."

"You didn't even like that I played in a band!" Lily exclaims.

"No, I didn't. But I know you loved it. And I hate James Potter for taking it from you." Her sister stands up, makes to move out of the room.

"He didn't take anything from me", Lily whispers, but she's too late. Her sister has already left.

* * *

James comes to collect her two days later, three days after she'd woken up, right when she'd told him to. She is ready to go when he arrives, waiting in the house. She had quit her job at the liquor store, too, something she was much less sad about than quitting her band. James gestures to the backyard, where they can Apparate away without being seen. Lily leaves a note for Petunia on the kitchen table, telling her that she'll visit and write as often as she can. Just as James is about to pull her through the backdoor, she pauses.

"Petunia will never forgive me", she whispers. James' eyes go soft.

"Lily", he says, "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

She nods fervently, and sets her jaw. "Yes."

And so she does.

* * *

She's been living at James' for two weeks, getting on well with Mrs. Potter and playing that beautiful piano as much as she can. James has been gone almost since he brought her back, on some sort of mission, but late one night, after Mrs. Potter has gone to bed, he stumbles in through the back door, and Lily jumps up from the piano, meeting James in the kitchen.

"Oh, James!" she says as she sees him, fear in her voice. He is sobbing so hard he can't answer, barely able to stand, absolutely white in the face. He collapses to the floor as soon as he sees her, and she drops to her knees and bends over him.

"I need you to tell me where that Calming Draught is, James", Lily says, as clearly as she can. James doesn't answer. "James!" she says again, yelling this time, "Calming Draught!"

Weakly, he points to a nearby cabinet. Lily runs over and grabs what she desperately hopes is the right vial, it seems to be the same color as the potion he gave Petunia, and it's in the same type of bottle. Forcing her fingers into his mouth, she holds his jaw open and tips the potion down his throat. His sobs die down, but do not cease. Apparently, the Calming Draught is less effective on him than it was on Petunia.

"Are you injured?" she demands as soon as the potion takes effect. He shakes his head, gasping.

"No", he manages, "Not… not injured. Lily… I… oh, Lily…"

Suddenly, Lily finds herself being hugged very tightly, so tightly she cannot breathe. She hugs him back as hard as she can. From his very broken, sob-laden account, she gathers that someone called Marlene has been raped and tortured and murdered, and even though Lily does not know this Marlene, she starts to cry, too, sitting with James, holding him.

"Marry me, Lily", he breathes, and her heart skips several beats.

"I… what?" she says, rather stupidly, in her opinion.

"I don't… I don't know how long we'll have, in this war. I… I've brought danger upon you, and that was so, so selfish of me, and I'm sorry. But I love you, Lily, more than anything else in the world, and I want to marry you. I… I actually already have a ring, I've just been… been waiting for the right time… I'm sorry, I know this isn't the most romantic…"

"James Potter, you dolt", she breathes, laughing a bit as she does, "I'd marry you if you asked me with an onion ring. The answer is yes, baby. It's always going to be yes."

* * *

They marry quickly. They are both of them grown-up enough to admit that, in addition to the ever-present threat of war, Mrs. Potter is fading fast. It is a quiet affair, with only James' mother, Sirius, Remus and Peter. It has pained Lily not to have any of her friends or family in attendance, but she knows that doing so would put them in danger. She and James both wear robes for the ceremony, but they buy Muggle wedding clothes too, and they wear those clothes for the photographs Lily sends to Petunia. It is the first time she has written to Petunia since she moved out. Rather than a furious letter back, she is shocked to receive an elated letter from Petunia telling her that someone has anonymously paid off their debts on the house, car, and everything else.

Lily is, of course, immediately suspicious, and confronts James over breakfast the next morning.

"Oh, that was a wedding present, Dear!" Mrs. Potter interjects from her place at the breakfast table, "From me, you know. I know your sister couldn't be there, but I know how close you two are."

Lily feels a lump in her throat. "I… thank you, Euphemia", she manages, using Mrs. Potter's first name for the first time.

Mrs. Potter beams, and for a moment it is easy to forget how old she is. "Anything for you, Dear."

* * *

Shortly afterwards, Lily sends Petunia another letter, one she has been meaning to send for a very long time. In it, she explains everything, the real truth about James. She uses an owl to send it, both so that it will not be lost in the Muggle post and to lend credibility to her story.

Petunia pointedly ignores everything Lily said in the letter when she replies, which is how Lily knows she has read it, and that she believes it.

* * *

Mrs. Potter dies on a Monday.

Luckily, Lily is not alone in the house when it happens. James is home for a few days, in between missions, frying bacon for breakfast. He asks her to go wake his mother, and when she goes to do so, she finds the woman dead in her bed, her body already cold. She has, Lily supposes, died peacefully in her sleep. Lily immediately feels sick, and barely makes it to the bathroom in time.

Later, she would wonder if her nauseousness had been entirely due to Mrs. Potter's death.

James takes some time off from the Order, to make the funeral arrangements. After all, Lily knows nothing at all about magical funerals, and besides, she's been feeling a bit sick, anyway. In all the excitement, she doesn't even notice that she's missed her period.

It is the morning after the funeral when James finally looks at her funny, over the breakfast table.

"You sure you've got enough salt there?" he asks, gesturing to her eggs, which look as if they've been coated in snow. She glares.

"Sod off, Potter", she mutters darkly. She has been unbearably and uncontrollably irritable lately, she isn't sure why. Something indecipherable passes James' face, and then he is digging in the potions cabinet for something. He hands her a vial filled with something green.

"Drink that", he says. She stares.

"If you think I'm just going to…"

" _Please_ , Lily", he says, and it's not the worry in his voice so much as the unabashed hope that is present as well that gets her to swallow the vile thing down. It Is deeply unpleasant, and after she finishes it, she feels a hot glow on her face. James only stares at her.

"What?" she asks. He does not answer. " _What is it, Potter?_ "

"Lily", he says slowly, and there are the makings of a grin stretching across his face, "That was… a potion to test for pregnancy." He does not need to say more.

James has lost his parents, just as Lily has lost hers. But still, for both of them, life goes on.

* * *

It will not do, Lily and James decide, to raise their son in James' old home. His house is beautiful, of course, and they both love it. But it is not theirs. And so, at James' suggestion, they find a beautiful little cottage in Godric's Hollow, which James tells her has been home to wizards and witches for centuries. Lily is fascinated by the idea that wizards can congregate in little Muggle towns like Godric's Hollow.

"So they know each other, but their neighbors don't know they're wizards? But they're still able to be friends and all that?" she asks James, bright interest in her voice, "They aren't wary of or bored with their Muggle neighbors?"

"Oh, Lily-flower", he says, and she laughs at the new term of endearment, "I'd have thought you would have noticed by now, plenty of wizards like Muggles just fine."

* * *

Harry is born just past three in the morning in late July, after a particularly taxing labor. The first words he hears as he enters the world are his mother's- "oh, thank bloody _fuck_."

Even when he is still red-faced and bleary eyed, it is immediately clear that he is James in miniature. Really, the only thing that sets her husband and son apart is a pair of bright green eyes just like Lily's (Harry is not born blue-eyed, as so many children are). Looking into his eyes, Lily sees herself staring back.

For a long time, she is content being a wife and mother. She watches her baby grow, helps James out with the war effort when she can (which isn't often), says hi to James' friends when they come by and looks over photographs of her old friends, wondering if they still think about her. She is perfectly happy. But still, it isn't what she planned, being a stay-at-home mom by age twenty married to a man who is never around, even if for a good reason. She doesn't regret it, she knows she never will. But someone with her ambition often can't help wanting more.

* * *

It is James who suggests a solution.

"Lily", he says one night after Harry has gone to bed, "I've been thinking. I… I know it isn't much, but, well, there's a small music college, just in the next town over. Obviously you're qualified for somewhere much more prestigious, and I still say you should go somewhere else, one day, but, well… Sirius and Remus and Peter could take turns watching Harry, you know…"

Lily smiles. "That's very sweet, James", she says, "But are you forgetting why I moved in with you? They know my face now, James. Especially now that I've married you, I can't take risks like that. Harry needs his mother."

"I've thought that through too, Lily!" he says brightly. He pulls a vial out of his pocket. "We'll disguise you! Nothing stopping you registering for classes under an alias, either, once this is all sorted we'll get your degree transferred to your real name, Dumbledore will owe me a hell of favor when this is all said and done."

For a moment, Lily isn't quite sure what to say. "That looks revolting", she says, pointing at the vial, trying to give herself time to come up with something better to say. James laughs a bit.

"It is", he assures her, "But it works. What do you say, Lily? I just… just hate to see you cooped up here all day, is all."

She takes a deep breath. "I'll look into it."

* * *

She gets as far as picking up a few pamphlets for the college James mentioned before the letter from Dumbledore comes.

It comes in the fireplace, and Lily is so fascinated by the method of arrival that she forgets to read it, for a moment. Once she does, though, she is filled with dread.

_James (and, if she will be so good as to come along, Lily),_

_I am afraid that I have received rather pressing information regarding your son. Please write back at your earliest convenience letting me know when you will be available._

_Yours Most Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Lily calls for James, who is asleep. When she shows him the letter, the look in his face confirms her worst suspicions.

Their son is in terrible danger.

* * *

They meet Dumbledore in his office, after a trip through the fireplace that Lily is too worried about her son to even marvel at. She clutches Harry tightly to her chest the entire time. He is supposed to be down for a nap right now, and it is the only way she can keep him asleep. She stares at Dumbledore defiantly when she enters, daring the man to say something, but James' reassurances appear to be true- Dumbledore is not the sort of man to be bothered by her baby on her chest.

"James", he says warmly, and even though Lily doesn't know him well at all, she can sense that he is very tired. He turns to her, and seems to hesitate a bit. "Lily."

She nods. "Hello, Mr. Dumbledore."

He smiles, just as he smiled at James, that same weariness present in his smile. "Call me Albus. Go ahead and sit. Would you like me to conjure something for Harry to sleep on?"

Lily shakes her head. "He'll wake up if I pull him off me now. He's not used to being out and about much, you'll understand."

Albus nods heavily. "I do. I know that you have taken to staying inside the house as much as possible. Which is why I… rather regret to inform you that you are likely to be spending even more time inside it."

"Pardon?" James asks, speaking for the first time. Albus sighs.

"Have either of you ever heard of a prophecy?"

Suddenly, Albus is going off on a long explanation that Lily doesn't entirely understand, even though she gets the impression that Dumbledore is deliberately using words that will be recognizable to her. A child born in late July to parents who have thrice defied Voldemort will have the power to vanquish him, according to some batty old psychic. He'll have some great power. Voldemort has heard this prophesy too, the psychic was overheard. He will be looking for the boy that this prophesy refers to- and Dumbledore has reasons to believe that this boy is Harry. There is a great silence when he finishes, broken only by Harry's gentle snoring.

It is Lily who speaks first. "But… but James and I haven't defied _Voldemort_ , have we?"

Albus looks at her over his spectacles. "Haven't you?"

Lily is confused. "I've never even seen the man…"

"Almost no one has, at least not in his present state, and lived to tell the tale", Albus says. "But still, the both of you have certainly defied him three times. I am sure you remember, Lily, narrowly escaping Death Eaters twice. I am sure _you_ remember, James, coming to Lily's aid on both occasions. As for the third time… well, the two of you need only look to your ring fingers."

Lily feels a very slight chill go through her. "I defied Voldemort by marrying James?"

Albus nods. "Oh, certainly, yes. Not intentionally, I am sure, but a defiance nonetheless."

"So… Harry's in danger, then?" Lily asks. Albus nods again, and finally, his weariness makes sense.

"Yes. I am so terribly sorry."

Almost unconsciously, Lily rubs Harry's back as she speaks. "So… we've got to hide, then. All of us, I suppose."

"Yes", Dumbledore says. "I will admit that that was my thought, as well."

Suddenly, James interjects. "But… but, Lily… you were planning to go to college, right? You… I… Merlin, Lily, I… I really ruined your life, didn't I? All your plans…"

"James Potter, you bloody idiot", she says fiercely, and Albus gives a cough that she highly suspects is disguising a laugh, "You think you ruined my life? You think you took something from me?"

"I… I just… you had plans, Lily", he stutters, "Dreams. You wanted…"

"No matter what I wanted, James", she says, holding Harry tightly as she does, "I am certain it would absolutely pale in comparison to what I've got, all because I met you."

* * *

James has to explain the charm twice before Lily agrees.

"Won't… won't the Secret Keeper be in danger?' she asks after he has explained it the first time. James nods.

"Yeah, they will", he says, a bit of fear and guilt in his voice, "But it's war. Everyone is in danger."

It takes a little more convincing, but Lily agrees. When James suggests they use Sirius as Secret Keeper, she doesn't have any argument. After all, it's not like she has anyone in her life that she could nominate as a confidante for a magical protection spell.

* * *

"Just think about it, James, Lily", Sirius says, "He'll _never_ suspect Peter. Me first, then Remus. But never Peter."

Lily finds herself nodding. That does make sense, she supposes.

* * *

It is their third week of being trapped inside the house when she does it. James is in the next room over, napping on the couch with Harry, and he's left his wand in the kitchen. Really, she isn't entirely sure what makes her do it. Perhaps it really is just pure curiosity. But, feeling rather silly as she does it, she picks up the wand, and gives it a wave.

The damn thing explodes.

" _Argh!_ ", she yells, dropping the thing to the floor. James comes running in, Harry crying on his hip, clearly expecting some intruder. When all he sees is Lily cradling an obviously burnt hand, he starts to smirk, just a bit.  
"Waved my wand, did you?"

"Yes, I did!" she says hotly, "You could've told me it was fucking booby trapped!"

He gently sets Harry down on the pram they've got in the kitchen, cooing to him until he's quiet again, slipping back into sleep. "It isn't booby-trapped. It just couldn't figure you out, is all. I doubt a Muggle's ever touched it before. This was something of a warning shot."

"Gee, that makes it much better, knowing why it did it!" she growls, still clutching her hand, "Doesn't even hurt anymore, thanks for that!"

He very diligently schools his features into a concerned expression, but Lily can tell he is still trying not to laugh. "I'm really sorry, Lils. I'll get you a pain potion."

"Isn't that the one with… with, like, flies in it? And… and blood, and…"

"Do you know what's in Muggle medicine?" he counters, and she has to admit that she does not. And so she quietly sits down at the kitchen table while James brings her a sickly green potion. She holds her nose as she drinks it. Really, it's absolutely disgusting.

It doesn't do anything, either.  
"Better?" James asks as he smirks. She glares.

"No", she says, "Not even a little bit. In fact, I'm feeling sort of sick."

His smirk falls. He seems to be considering something.

"Shit", he says.

"What?" Lily asks, seeing his sheepish expression, "What is it?"

He rubs a hand over the back of his head. Clearly apprehensive. "I… don't be mad now, Lily. Potions wasn't exactly my best subject in school, and…"  
" _James Potter, what have you done?_ "

He sighs. "That potion has a class three external base, meaning it isn't really the potion itself that's all that magical, the potion is just a catalyst. When you give it to a wizard, it forces their own magic to shield the pain. But as you're a Muggle…"

Lily isn't sure what the technical terms mean, but she gets the implication. "You made me drink fly broth for nothing."

He nods sheepishly. Suddenly, she is smacking him with her uninjured hand.  
"James Potter! You! Absolute! Idiot!"

* * *

"James?" she asks. Harry has gone to bed, and the two of them are sitting on the couch, her head resting against his chest. He grunts in acknowledgement of her question. "Why were you so interested in me that you followed me to that gig?"

He shifts under her, wrapping his arms around her a little tighter. "I… I don't know, actually. I mean, at first, I just thought you were ridiculously beautiful."

Though he doesn't see her, she blushes. "So that's why you followed me?"

He nods. "Yes, that's why I followed you to that gig. But it was once I heard you play that I started to fall in love with you."

She shoves him. "Oh, shut it."

"I'm serious!" he insists, feigning injury. "Actually, I felt sort of bad about it, at first. Like I was using you, you know? And putting you in danger. But I just… I couldn't stop. I was in love with you from the very first day. As soon as you wrote your number on my hand, I knew I was a goner."

* * *

Lily doesn't get to play the piano as often as she used to, anymore. With a baby in the house, it seems she's always either doing something for her son, or her son is asleep, and she can't wake him up. James recently had the idea to put a silencing charm on the piano room, though, so that Harry won't be able to hear it, and now, Lily finally plays the piano again.

Halfway through a Debussy piece, however, they hear Harry crying, apparently up early from his nap.

"I'll get him", James says before she can even pause her fingers, "You keep playing!"

Lily does, mostly unfazed by the occurrence. She is a pub musician by trade, she can deal with some distractions. If she had been paying attention, however, she might have heard that, upon James' arrival, Harry started yelling for her, for _Mummy,_ he didn't want Daddy, he wants _Mummy._

Suddenly, the sound of music beneath her fingers halts with a terrible crashing sound. She jumps, almost falling backwards, as she tentatively examines the piano. The keys won't make noise, other than a light clanging noise if she really bangs on them. To her shock, she opens the piano and finds that the strings have separated from the board and tied themselves into a knot at the center of the piano.

At first, she is angry at James. This has to be his idea of a joke, right? But no, he loves her playing the piano, and gone to great lengths to make sure she'd be able to. Which only left…

"James!" she yelled, dashing out the piano room so as not to be hindered by the silencing charm. Harry smiles when he sees her, but there is something else there too, some sort of smug look. "Harry! Harry's a wizard, James! _Harry is a wizard!_ "

* * *

Lily writes to Petunia with the news about Harry. She doesn't expect much of a response, not really. She had not been invited to Petunia's wedding (fair, she supposes, as she hadn't invited Petunia to hers, but at least she'd had a reason), and she had not yet met her nephew. She wasn't sure if she ever would. Though she still writes weekly to Petunia, and Petunia writes back, most of the time, their letters are cold, mechanic, and short. As if they are not sisters at all, but business partners who must maintain a relationship with each other for the sake of the company.

So sure, she expected Petunia to be indifferent, perhaps to pointedly ignore it, as she had done with Lily's first letter about magic. But she did not expect her to be _furious_.

 _I told you, you fool!_ Petunia's letter reads, _I warned you what would happen if you got yourself mixed up with freaks like that! Now look what you've done, you've gone and condemned your son to a life of perpetual abnormality and unnaturalness! I won't have it in my house, I promise you that! If you ever come to your senses, you are welcome to return. But I won't have that Potter boy or your freakish son, do you hear me? You have put yourself in danger, thrown yourself into some silly war that isn't yours to fight, fine, I cannot stop you. But you are going to get yourself killed, Lily, you mark my words. And I won't have you endangering my family!_

When James walks into the kitchen and finds her crying, sobbing so hard she can't stand up straight as she clutches Petunia's letter to her chest, he needs only read the first sentence before he understands, and then he's pulling her to him.

"Don't bother with her, Lily", he says, "She doesn't understand."

"She… she… she said she doesn't want to see me anymore…"

The sink down to the floor, so that James is leaning against the kitchen counter, and Lily is on his chest.

"She… she said I'd put her family in danger… that…. that I was going to get myself killed and she… she couldn't stop me…"

James shushes her. "Come now, none of that, Lily. We're safe, alright?" he says, stroking her hair, "Nothing will happen to us. We're going to be perfectly alright, I promise."

* * *

Sometimes, when we have nothing really or truly comforting to tell our loved ones, we do the best we can. We lie.

* * *

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"

Lily feels her heart stop. This is it, then. She turns around where she stands in the middle of their staircase and books it back up the stairs, back to her son. Her hands are shaking, she is crying, but these are natural reactions, uncontrollable reactions, because she is not losing herself. She is focused on getting to her son and nothing else. James can meet them later, after he escapes.

With no magical ability and no way of getting out with Harry through either door, because she would have to pass Voldemort to get to either of those, she does the only thing she can think of- lock the door and push as much furniture against it as she can. Her efforts are proven to be in vain when, as she is pushing the dresser to the door, it flies open with a burst of blue light, and she flies backwards with the dresser. Luckily, she is not crushed by it when she lands. Scrambling to her feet, she throws her arms out and tries to shield her son from sight.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!" she pleads. The horrible creature in front of her contorts its face into what she assumes is meant to be a sneer, but it is hard to recognize facial expressions, on a face like the one in front of her.

"Severus did not lie", he whispers, though Lily has no trouble hearing, "Potter's Muggle is pretty. Now stand aside, silly girl."

Lily doesn't have time to process what has been said. She only stretches her arms a bit wider, presses her body against the crib more tightly. "Not Harry, not Harry, please, I'll do anything, take me instead, kill me instead..."

"Stupid Muggle", he says, "Don't involve yourself in things you don't understand. Now stand aside!"

But Lily doesn't. And even though she has never seen it before, she knows instinctively what the green light that emerges from his wand when she refuses to step aside will do. Lily looks death in the face, and she remembers.

She remembers the way James' eyes filled with light, the very first time he saw her.

She remembers the way he had followed her to the pub, the way he had stumbled over himself in amazement after hearing her play.

She remembers the way she'd been ready to kill him, when he hadn't called her.

She remembers meeting his friends for the first time, and hopes Sirius won't blame himself for their deaths. He trusted Peter, they all did.

She remembers the way he had come for her when she had been captured, how he had sat with her until she'd woken up afterwards and held her hand so tightly she couldn't feel her fingers.

She remembers late nights at the piano, waiting for him to come back. She remembers his hands on her shoulders, pulling her out of the trance the music put her in, as he leaned down to kiss her.

She remembers how happy she'd been, when she had learned she was carrying his baby. Remembers day after day of chasing after Harry and laughing with James and sitting on the couch with her boys, able to pretend even for just a moment like there was no war going on, like they were a perfectly normal young family and that everything was going to be alright.

She remember how tightly Harry would grip her hands, when she held him.

She remembers James' face that afternoon in their backyard, playing Quidditch with Harry under the dying sun.

Lily Potter remembers, and she decides, right before the green light hits her, that she does not regret a thing, from the day James Potter walked into her little liquor store. In the split second before her death, she tries to turn around, to take one last look at her beautiful son. But then the light hits her square in the chest, and Lily Potter's symphony finally comes to an end.

**Author's Note:**

> Very much inspired by the story Just Stay Here Tonight by Monroeslittle on fanfiction.net, I highly recommend checking that one out as well. I do hope you all like this one, as I've been putting off my other responsibilities for weeks to work on it.


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